Sound of Music - 'Dangerous Man'

September 10^th

I got to school and realized I didn’t have to teach until 11:45.  The kids are already practicing for the sports festival on Sunday and looking like they mean business.  As I’m waiting for the class to begin, I hear a teacher next door start to play his guitar.  What song is it?  ‘Country Road’ by Mr. John Denver.  This class full of little 5 and 6 year olds, screaming the lyrics in Japanese, until they sing ‘country road’ in English.   After these kids stop, I hear another classroom full of kids singing something like, ‘HA HA HA, ZERO ZERO ZERO.’  They are chanting back and forth with one another and it’s hypnotic.  I cannot take my eyes and ears away from these two classrooms full of singing kids.  Now, I hear the other class start up again, and they’re singing ‘Do Re Mi’ from The Sound of Music!  When I go over to watch them, all the kids are standing on their desks stomping their feet and jumping from desk to desk.  What the heck is going on here?!  Why don’t I have a videocamera taped to my head at all times?  The kids finish the song and get back to work on the chalkboard as if nothing has happened.  I am definitely in a foreign land.

Two of the younger boys find me in the office, but they’re not allowed inside unless they ask some sort of tongue-twister speech to one of the Japanese teachers.  They keep yelling in the door, ‘See you, bye bye, good job, I’m sorry!’  One of the boys walks into the room and Kyoto-sensei (vice-principal) barks at him.  He runs outside the room, says ‘Sumimasen’ (excuse me/I’m sorry) a few times and then goes through the elaborate process of gaining permission to the room.  Kyoto-sensei doesn’t look to be in a good mood and denies them.  First time I have ever seen a student denied access into the room, it was priceless. 

I found out at about 4pm that Osaki JHS is having a drinking party for me at 7pm.  I’m so glad they tell me these things so early.  One of the math teachers drives me from the school to the restaurant where we dine on sashimi, salad, and tons of meats on a stick.

Mugs of beer are brought in after every 5 minutes or so (all you can drink).  It’s going to be a long night. 

After dinner, 5 insane, male teachers throw me in their car and drive toward Kanoya.  We end up in a place that reminds me of late night Tijuana, with girls in skimpy outfits trying to get you to come into their workplace.  They’re hollering everything in Japanese and the street is littered with boozed up men.  It turns out the girls work for karaoke bars, where you pay an arm and a leg for them to sit next to you while you sing.

They pour you drinks all night long and even take pictures with you as the night goes on.  One of the guys we are with has been insanely drunk all night.  I keep calling him ‘Dangerous Man,’ and he has a laugh attack every time I say it.

This is one dangerous man.

 All night, everyone’s yelling ‘Dangerous Man!!’  Blah blah…fuzzy memories…

Insanely amazing night...

We make it out of the karaoke bar and get some late night food.  I honestly don’t even remember this, but little bits and pieces of the night keep coming to mind.  One thing I recall very well, is that 3 of the 5 guys we’re with, fall asleep at the restaurant.  We call a daiko, they drive me home, everyone is now passed out in the car, and I don’t know if the other guys made it home.

September 11^th

I wake up at 9am to my alarm clock and quickly fall back to sleep.  At 10, I hear my doorbell and realize it’s Hamanoue here to pick me up.  This is the cool guy that took me to Cape Sata with his wife.  Yesterday, we texted one another and agreed to go on a motorcycle ride.  I think my alcohol hasn’t turned to blood yet.  I run around the house, not knowing what I’m doing.  Somehow I get dressed, eat a cliff bar, and brush my teeth.  I follow Hamanoue as he rides one of his motorcycles, and find he has his other bike all ready for me to ride back at his place.

We gear up with shin-guards (???) and jackets.  He has full leather boots, shin-guards, motocross chest/shoulder/elbow protectors, and some knuckle-dragging gloves.  Hamanoue rides his 250cc Honda and lets me take his 200cc Suzuki  (it actually brought back memories of riding to Wyoming on my Suzuki).  He asks, ‘Gravel?  Okay?’ and I give him thumbs up.

Hamanoue!!!

We go down the street and turn immediately into some crazy, vine-filled, muddy, gravel-y, spider crawling, 4 foot grass-filled road that I don’t think has been driven on in 30 years.  Halfway though, I run straight through a spider web and look down to see a spider crawling toward my face.  This is one of those palm-sized black and yellow spiders that looks like it’s on a mission to kill and kill fast.  I stop, grab the spider web right above the spider, and fling it away.  Please, please, no more spiders.  30 feet later, I run into another web and the spider either squished against the headlight, or it’s slowly making its way toward me on the bike. 

Getting some more intense rocks up in here

Hamanoue takes me through the jungle and up some crazy steep and twisty mountain roads.  It’s beautiful.  I wish The Dirty Biker was here to see this and ride this.  We find the end of the road and keep going.  The ‘road’ is now gravel, sand, mud, slate, and some water.  We stop our bikes and park our butts on a couple fallen logs.  Hamanoue has brought chicken wings, onigiri, apples, bananas, and jugs of water.  I can do nothing but sit and stare at the surrounding trees, the ocean, and our bikes on the dirt.  Hamanoue starts asking me the difference between river/liver and rice/lice.  Somehow he had more difficulty with river/liver than he did with the lice one. 
I’m in Japan.

Little waterfall along the way.  Hamanoue hiding behind the bushes.

We only backtrack on about 40 feet of road this whole time, as he takes me completely around the mountain.  Traffic ahead, guys in orange jumpsuits, and a huge truck that is hauling a GINORMOUS windmill blade through this ½ lane, windy, mountain road.

This is only 1/8th of the windmill blade

Upon getting to the bottom of the mountain, we run through a checkpoint where the man tells us we weren’t supposed to be up there.  Hamanoue explains our route and the guy just lets us through, but warns not to come back. 

Back to Hamanoue’s place, tons of liquids, shrimp-crackers, and some major league Japanese baseball on TV.  He falls asleep so I leave a note and head home.

Thinking I was going to fall asleep at home, I decide, instead, to buy a ‘Hawaiian-sling’ and do some spearfishing.  Their spears out here are made from bamboo and I don’t know if this thing is going to work.  On the way, I spot a couple awesome looking motorcycles with packs strung over the back.  I pull up to take some pictures but find that the owners are there.  It's a couple guys, probably early 20s, from Osaka.  They have ridden for the last 10 days and are on their final stretch home.  We talked a bit about older bikes and the one kids has great English.  I'm kicking myself for not getting their info.

Jealousy has officially introduced itself

 I head out to my normal surf spot and do some diving.  Clear, blue, tons of cool fish, but nothing big enough to go for.  Still, this was perfect.  Did I just do all of that in one day?